Arranged Marriages

I know we techanlly "arranged" the sims' marriages but Here me out on this before commenting.
I have 3 different ways for this to play out but all of them included either a matchmaker or an astrologer (or a 2-in one combo). The couple or the couple's parents can break the contract at anytime after the contract is made.

In the example shown below-I will be playing the girl's house but it can work the other way around too.
Method 1 (kind of a historical one).
You have two households. Household A has a set of parents and a baby daughter. Let name her Ashley. Household B near them has a set of parents and a baby son let name him John. For some reason (like Ashley's mom lets call her Juliet is friends with John's mom Hero) Ashely's parents want Ashley to marry John when they're YAs. They contact the Matcher maker person who 'checks' their horoscope signs,etc and the two agree for the kids to get married when they are older. Fast Foward until both kids are children. John will go to Ashley's house (or vice versa if you're playing John's house) as long-term NPC guest until the Teen stage. At the teen stage John goes back home and Joshley couple date for awhile and IF they don't fall in love with someone else they get married when they are YAs.

Method 2 a modern day "Sleeping Beauty" example
You have two households. Household A has a set of parents and a baby daughter. Let name her Ashley. Household B near them has a set of parents and a baby son let name him John. For some reason (like Ashley's mom lets call her Juliet is friends with John's mom Hero) Ashely's parents want Ashley to marry John when they're YAs. They contact the Matcher maker person who 'checks' their horoscope signs,etc and the two agree for the kids to get married when they are older. Fast Foward until both kids are children. They meet each other in school unaware of their betrothal and they either a)become friends (ala Simba/Nala) or b)they don't like each other aka Odette and Derick from the non-Disney movie The Swan Princess. When they are teens their parents tell them that they're betrothed to each other. So there reaction depending on how part B) plays out could be "I can't marry him..he's my friend" to "EWW I hate him" and then in the teen stage Joshley couple date for awhile and IF they don't fall in love with someone else they get married when they are YAs.

Method 3
We have two households A and B. House A has a teenage daughter named Ashley. House B has a teenage son called John. Both sets of parents are getting frustated with trying to find a suitable match for their kid who has turned down a ton of potential spouses Juliet and her husband, find out somehow (through friends, matchmaker,etc) about John's parent. They go out for a couple of dates and if they like each other, they will agree to marry when they're older. IF they don't fall in love with someone else they get married when they are YAs.

People falsely believe that arranged marriage=forced marriage. Or that Arranged Marriage means girl=pawns/property aka girls don't have the option to 'turn down suitors". in cultures like the many Asian ones (Indian for example) its not to people getting together it's too families. The problem we have as a society today in the Western World is that the only "love concept" which in the Middle Ages were only for the poor people. Nobles and above were more interested in using their kids as pawns instead. For everyone else the love concept for other people didn't show up till more recently in the West-with some help I believe in the 1930s and onwards by Disney.


I'm getting this off my blog which I got somewhere else (Can't remember where) but I do remember the blogger who I copied- was talking about a friend of hers who is in an arranged marriage talking to people who believe in the western concept of love
:
Not all these marriages are forced. Parents ensure that their sons and daughters are satisfied with their parents’ choices. The children’ consent is vital, and should a prospective partner be refused, parents will simply have to find another suitable choice. A courtship period is also allowed by certain cultures, and in more modern societies like India, the couple is encouraged to go out on dates so they can get to know each other better.”

^this is my basis for number 3.

I kind of included my own words into the next paragraph:

In an arranged marriage, the father (or mother) knows that he wants to get someone for his daughter that will not only be a good match, but who is dependable, honest, and will be able to support the family (remember what the sultan says in Aladdin?) . He will essentially research the possibilities, consider the strengths and weaknesses of potential husbands, and ultimately make a deal with someone he thinks will suit his daughter. And, of course, the man’s family has similar concerns. Who do you think will make a better choice — a hormone influenced 18 year old aroused by some rugged roguish guy who turns her on, or a father thinking about the long term happiness of his daughter (think Sultan or Pocahontas dad)?

problems with Western society love:
Moreover, in arranged marriages the couple does not suffer the illusion that romantic love can last. In America, she noted, couples “fall in love,” and then when the romance fades and life becomes routine, they “fall out of love.”


We in the West seek to maintain the fantasy that you can find a soul mate with whom you’ll feel an eternal connection and bond. When things start getting boring and the romance fades (as it inevitably does), we start to regret the choice we made.

Maybe he or she isn’t the right one? We start thinking about what we could be achieving without being “tied down” by a spouse and even kids. And, of course, since our imaginations are limitless, almost always we can fantasize a better life than the one we have. Soon, desiring the sensation of “being in love” we break up, deciding that the other person just isn’t right.”

“In arranged marriages, you go into it with the idea that it’s not about love, it’s about commitment."

Both realize that their families made this choice, and they are responsible to get to know the other person and make a family. Over time, the bond forms, and almost always (in part since parents usually are careful in making the choice) love happens. And since it’s not the rush of romance followed by the let down of routine, it ends up being a stable love, one that doesn’t depend on emotional highs.”

In the West, she noted, we start by falling in love with an illusion.When we don’t know someone well we “fill in the gaps” with how we imagine them to be — usually imagining what we would consider the perfect mate.

I call this the “halo effect.” When we get to know the person better, we inevitably find that our imagination was off, the person is real, not a result of our fantasy. In an arranged marriage, you have no illusions, you may even fear that the person won’t be someone you can get along with. You get to know someone on their own terms, generating mutual respect. It is a more realistic relationship.”

Finally, she argued, look at the results. Here relationships and marriages break up right and left, tearing apart families, creating hardships for children, and often leading couples to keep seeking the unobtainable – long term romantic love. In her country, and in most countries with arranged marriages, divorce rates are low, and people tend to have happy families. How on earth can we defend our irrational emotion-driven method of having teens with hormone buzzes choosing who to spend the rest of their lives with chosen spouse.


Note from my dad, a former history teacher:

Arranged Marriage is more of a social aspect then a relgious one.

Back to my own thoughts:
Once of two times I mention it..someone claimed that I was being cultural insensitive. She is one of those people who still believe that arranged culturals girls don't get to choose aka girls pawns/property. http://celoptra.wordpress.com/2011/01/29/i-hate-edhla/
What she said was true once..but it's not true anymore.

testing

these sound fun! i do miss the matchmaker...and i could certainly have used one myself! IRL i wish sometimes that my parents had set me up in an arranged marriage. the choices i made on my own didn't pan out so well. i blame myself for being a terrible judge of character and too stubborn to listen to warnings from family and friends. now i'm so jaded and distrusting of others and my own ability to make smart choices (haha) that the only romance in my life comes via my sims! ahhh...love!